Fire Tom Cable!

on 11 5, 2009

Al Davis:  Listen up.  There’s something you need to do.  Please fire this wife beating fat ass Tom Cable.  Cable’s a complete joke.  He punched out an assistant coach and was lucky enough to have the charges dropped.  Now reports are coming out that he’s beaten up on past wives and girlfriends.  Classy, Tom.  On the other hand, who could resist Tom Cable’s charm?  All 430 pounds of him breathing down your neck.  Tempting.

Every Tom Cable press conference these days is about as awkward as that DeSean Jackson-Andy Reid chest bump.  Reporters are either asking Cable questions about his terrible team, or his terrible habit of beating people up.  Cable now looks at the media like they just asked him if he’d like a colonoscopy.

Just fire the guy, promote some offensive or defensive coordinator to his job, and get out of this disaster.  Cable clearly hasn’t made the Raiders better.  JaMarcus Russell seems to be getting worse. He can’t get Derrius Heyward-Bey involved in the offense.  Their offensive line (Cable’s “specialty”) is abysmal.   The Raiders have two wins…not exactly setting the world on fire.  Maybe this saga would be worth putting up with if the Raiders, were, ya know, playing well.  But they’re not.  We all know Cable’s on the hot seat.  Just get it over with, so you can move on, praise a new coach as a genius, then dump him within a year’s time again when JaMarcus Russell is still completing 5% of his passes.

Who wants the guy being accused of hitting women leading their football team?  How can any player respect this prick?  Well, maybe Pacman Jones can.   The next time I turn on the TV and see Tom Cable in the news, I’m going to be prepared for anything.  “Tom Cable charged with possession of methamphetamines.”  Alright.  “Tom Cable knocks out a gorilla at a nearby Oakland zoo.”  Sure.  “Tom Cable hijacks the team bus and drives it off a cliff.”  Saw it coming a mile away.

Look, Al Davis, it’s simple.  You need to dump your basic cable service.  Thank you, I’ll be here all week!  But seriously, fire this dope.  Let him go rekindle some of that magic with his 8th wife.

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