Get’cha Popcorn Ready. And Your Lawyers.

Matt on 07 28, 2010

The 2010 Cincinnati Bengals promise to be wild. The two most insane wide receivers of the past 10 years are now on the same team: Chad Johnson and Terrell Owens. We’ll be seeing plenty of lame touchdown celebrations and resulting penalties this year.

Both players definitely aren’t what they used to be, but their personalities are absolutely the same as in the past. You’d think you’re dealing with 12 year olds when it comes to these two guys. VH1 is loving this.

Not to mention Matt “I’m a Crackhead” Jones , Adam “Pacman” Jones, Tank Johnson, and Cedric Benson in the mix! I completely forgot that these guys are all on that team until like 5 minutes ago. Holy cow. Is this the NFL or the Loony Bin? What is going on here?

How could Bengals management let this happen? (By the way, I love that the owner of the Bengals’ name is Mike Brown. Just funny.) They were already notorious for players with, um, off the field issues.

Roger Goodell just woke up in a cold sweat.

What is this team capable of? Homicide on a weekly basis? Carson Palmer must be having nightmares. He’s the only sane one on the team. I think Marvin Lewis just had a stroke.

I’ll say this team will win 10 games, and squeak into the playoffs. I’ll also say they’ll repeat their 2009 playoff performance, losing in the first round.

So, again, to recap, Chad Johnson, Terrell Owens, Pacman Jones, Matt Jones, Tank Johnson, and Cedric Benson are all now on the same football team. Yes, this happened. It’s true.

I will now hate this team.

Cris Collinsworth, rollin over in his grave…