Manny Ramirez tired of building forearm muscle the old fashion way, takes banned substance to improve sex drive

Editor on 05 7, 2009

[Guest post from one of our loyal readers: Brandan]

Manny being Manny again. Reportedly today Manny tested positive for an illegal substance; however it is not what we are used to hearing. This was NO performance enhancing drug but instead is reportedly a drug to help boost Manny’s sex drive. Are you kidding me? One girl a night for Manny isn’t enough. Manny reportedly will lose up to $7.7 million dollars during his 50 game suspension. Hate to break the news Manny but I think you are going to have to go back to using your hand to fulfill your so called SEX DRIVE. I mean at least your forearms will still get stronger! Get your head out of your ass and concentrate on baseball. You’re probably going to retire in the next couple of years and you can enjoy all the sex you want after then. The Dodgers need you and currently sit with the best record in the MLB with a 21-8 record. I can’t imagine when you return that this team can say the same as you lead the team in HR’s with 6 and AVG .348 and are 3rd on the team in RBI’s with 20.

All the criticism you have taken the past couple of years about being selfish is clearly true and once again you have let your fans and teammates down. Now while you enjoy your 50 game suspension at the strip clubs remember to use a condom because I don’t want to hear another report in the next couple of days/weeks about how your STD’s got so bad where you can’t walk anymore. I have enjoyed your presence my whole life on the baseball field as you repeatedly make the game more interesting by your antics. But please make your CHEDDA and win the Dodgers a World Series because you guys have arguably the best lineup in baseball and without you you’re not in the top 10.