The Los Angeles Lakers represent all that is evil in the world

Matt on 09 10, 2009

I’m an NBA junkie, and the one franchise that I can not stand is the Los Angeles Lakers. I passionately root against them. Whoever’s playing against the Lakers for the night becomes my favorite team. Here’s why: They’ve won the most games in NBA history, and have the 2nd most titles. Nobody likes a bully. It’s like rooting for the Yankees or Cowboys. They’ve practically never had a bad team over the course of their history. They’ve beaten the teams I’ve liked a lot in recent years. Those fun Kings teams, the Spurs, and occasionally the Mavericks. They have a ton of dumb, fake, celebrity fans who wouldn’t even be “fans” if they didn’t move to L.A. for the movie careers. Hell, some of the celebs only go for publicity. Showing up fashionably late, as many of their fans do, is idiotic. Their crowds pale in comparison to the rowdy, blue collar Celtics fans.

The Lakers have swooned so many great players away from their first teams, solely because their franchise is located in sunny Los Angeles. (Don’t tell me the Clippers have this same advantage. The Lakers have been in Los Angeles much longer.) What an absurd monopoly on great centers they’ve had, only because those guys wanted to play in L.A. In 1968, the Philadelphia 76′ers traded a mad Wilt Chamberlain to the Lakers, and a title ensued. In 1975, the Bucks traded Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to the Lakers, basically because Kareem threw a hissy fit because he didn’t want to play in Milwaukee, and he wanted to go to LA. 5 titles were then won. Fantastic. In 1996, Shaquille O’Neal left the Orlando Magic for the Lakers. Awesome. 3 titles followed. Not to mention the Grizzlies handing Pau Gasol to the Lakers for scrubs, before anyone even knew he was on the market. Seriously, some other team would’ve made a better offer. Another title.

How different would the course of NBA history had been if these guys didn’t have an obsession with the city of Los Angeles? At least Boston, the other dominant team in NBA history, got all their great players through the draft. This advantage of having people desire to play in Los Angeles can kind of be paralleled to how the New York Yankees spend ludicrous amounts of money to sign guys. The free agent market is the Lakers and Yankees farm systems. I hate it.

Plus, how many bandwagon fans do they have?. I can’t tell you how many Lakers fans I’ve come across that are Lakers fans for no reason other than they’re always good, and they have bright yellow jerseys that attract idiots. Kobe is my least favorite player in NBA history, and who does he play for again? He’s a jerk, for about 438 reasons (cheated on his wife, demanded Shaq be traded, ratted out Shaq for cheating on his wife, saying “I should’ve paid my women to stay quiet like Shaq did”, and screams at teammates). Seriously, how does anyone like this guy?

What’s with the nickname, the “Lakers”? Hello, you’re not in Minneapolis anymore. I don’t see many lakes around. Change your nickname, for the love of god. Here’s a few suggestions that might be more fitting: the “Surgeons”, the “Superficials”, the “Smogs”, or how about the “Thieves”? Plus, I despise their bright, obnoxious jerseys. Ok, that one’s not a legit argument, but it still bugs me.

Well, now the Lakers are starting another title defense. Great. Let’s just say I’m rooting for some guy in Cleveland.

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  • Tyler
    I don't know who this matt character is........but i'll fight him. First of all, there is no salary cap in baseball, so the Lakers-Yankees relation is absurd. Second, your blaming them for being in Los Angeles? Thats like blaming scarlett johansson for being too gorgeous. This article is written at a junior high level with junior high arguements. The author should be dragged outside beaten, castrated, shit on by Kobe, isolated in the dark for ten years, and then allowed to be brutally eaten alive by a pack of wolves.
  • Dolemite
    Boston's recent run at glory has been by players willing to take pay cuts in order to play together to win. I have no problem with this approach, but at the same time other teams should be looked down upon for offering a great atmosphere and money to lure players in.
  • tpayne
    The thing I hate about Laker fans is that the majority of them are fair weather fans, bandwagon jumpers. Extremely annoying. This Tyler guy seems like one of those guys. Get off Kobe's dick! You're probably from the Midwest/East coast and have no relation to the Lakers whatsoever.
  • Tisha
    Shaq is the man! Chat with him now.... www.chatwithshaq.com
  • Hell yeah I hate the fuckin Lakers...
  • I'm still laughing! Ok I'm on the east coast,sc to be exact and I have lived the lakers since 1980! Nothing fair-weather over here. But now I truly understand the hate..when you're consistently good, their must come HATERS totry to tear down what u built up! People hating Kobe like they know him personally! Why people holding Shaqs grudges? Know ur history Shaq left because Dr Buss would not pay him $30 mil a yr! But he over it, being that he wants to finish his career in LA! It's the resurgeance of the Lakers and Celtics! Get ready basketball Mecca is back!
  • first off, sucks to be you. Some of your arguments are valid but it all comes down to 'hate'. Just as cliche as you think it is to be a Lakers fan (and I'm a NYer who's father raised him to be a Laker fan because of their style of play in the 80s) its waaaaaay more cliche to be a Laker hater. I'm a UNC fan and get hated on for the same reason. People hate when you're successful. So thank you for validating my love for the Lakers and making those championships that much sweeter.

    FYI, Boston is a hella racist ass town with haters for fans. That's why KG took so long to OK that trade. Some great teams have played there, no doubt. But I'll pass on those Klan fans.
  • tpayne
    I don't know how many of these people I know....fans that like the Lakers, Tarheels, probably the Trojans and Patriots as well.... Pick a geographical location and stick to it! And Boston might be worse than LA.
  • Routhless
    Oh come on folks...The Lakers (Celtics, Bulls, Knicks and now Cavs) are not hated for their success or their fair-weather, glitter fans ... true SPORT fans hate them, cuz of how the "sport" is influencing their success. Trades, Free Agents and the Draft are FIXED - there I said it so these teams are successful. No fairness, no intelligent business decisions, no hard work...the NBA FIXES these area (and officiating) so as to influence the outcome of games and playoffs. One only need to look at the trades for Gasol, KG, Ray Allen, Mo Williams and the draft spots of Ewing, Derrick Rose, Lebron and the FA signings. Yes, GAMES are not FIXED, just influenced by how the league operates unfairly for these media friendly favorites. A true sport is fair and equal and the best team/man wins. The NBA does not play this way...That is why true sport fans HATE the Lakers, Celtics, Bulls, Knicks and soon will hate the Cavs.
  • Revgen
    You say you hate the Lakers because they basically buy up or trade for other players and because they beat up your favorite teams like the Spurs, Mavs, Kings, etc.

    I've got news for ya. Every team buys free agents and makes advantageous trades. Chris Webber, Vlade Divac (a Laker's draft pick), and Mike Bibby weren't drafted by the Kings. The Mavs had a chance in 2006 and blew it. Also, the Spurs beat the Shaq/Kobe Lakers in 2003 and won 4 titles since 1999. I don't understand why you'd feel bad about that. Sure the Lakers have dominated the Spurs in the playoffs for the most part other than 2003, but it's not like the Spurs were as unfortunate as the Kings and Mavs.

    On top of that, some of the greatest players the Lakers have ever had were drafted by them. Magic Johnson, Jerry West, Kobe Bryant, and Elgin Baylor were all drafted. So what if the Lakers acquired big men in the FA market? Big men are hard to pick up in the draft. Especially for a franchise that keeps winning titles and going to the Finals. Free agency is the often the only option available.
  • Split
    Oh yeah. Like Cleveland and Boston's fans aren't bandwagoners. Most of the Cavaliers' fans became fans when they drafted Lebron James and do you remember Celtics' fans chanting "MVP" to Kobe ? You will never see a Lakers' fan chanting MVP to a Celtics' fan.
  • Lakerfan forever can u dig it!
    Okay Matt just keep up the Laker Hating because that's exactly the anecdote on what drives these Lakers. Your points are only valid to those who hate the Lakers as well. So all you Laker Haters out there please keep up more fuel to the fire so they can win another championship. Kobe is the best player in the League right now period! Remember winning championships is what makes players great and what they are remembered for and I think the Laker Organization like Dr. Buss understands that! Compared to the other owners in the League who don't have that type of professional basketball business mind. Listen I've been a Laker Fan since Magic came to us and helped us win 5 championships in the 80's and if any of you never saw those classic battles then you don't know what the hell your talking about!! This Laker Team understands what it takes to win so I can't wait for the first game of the NBA season so they can go on to win another championship, Do I hear Repeat!!! Keep you shorts on Matt because it's going to be another dissappointing NBA season for you!! Laker Fan Forever Can U Dig It!!! I still like Shaq's phrases but I don't miss his laziness he eloquently displayed when he was here!!! Matt who is your favorite team in the NBA right now? and I will give you reasons why they won't win this year mainly because we have the best team in the NBA!!! Your Los Angeles Lakers buddy too bad Chick is not with us anymore to let you all know it's already in the refrigerator!!! Now how is that for this bandwagon Laker Fan, Absurd!!
  • Dr. Laker
    "At least Boston, the other dominant team in NBA history, got all their great players through the draft."

    Idiot.

    Bill Sharman - trade with Detroit
    Bill Russell - trade with Hawks
    McHale, Parish - trade with Warriors
    KG - trade with Timber Wolves
    Dennis Johnson - trade with Suns
    Nate Archibald - trade with Kings
    Charlie Scott - trade with Suns
    Bill Walton - trade with Clippers

    Also traded for other guys you probably never heard of.
  • You are an idiot
    You are a freaking idiot. Don't write out your stupid opinions about a team when you don't have facts. Go root for your guy in cleveland, i bet hed probably be very dissapointed when most of his fans are just like you.
  • You keep hating.

    But you're an idiot. You wanna talk bandwagon and then you go SUPPORT Boston fans? You should hang yourself for that. Was Paul Pierce getting MVP chants in Los Angeles two seasons ago? Hm.....I think not.

    But its okay cause it wasn't like Kobe was getting MVP chants in Boston, was he? Naahhh....

    Laker haters are 99% inbred retards. You just keep hating buddy. We'll keep winning.
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