The official point in the season it’s safe to give up on your fantasy football team: The dudes you should hate this week
Ken on 10 25, 2010
Because sports is a pretty safe outlet for all the hate, failure and aggression in your life, here is a list of dudes at whom you should direct those death threats you like to whisper under your breath during those degrading moments that seem to fill up the days. You can follow Ken on Twitter.
People should be excited about the World Series that starts this week. I know a lot of people will be talking about how this year’s series will suffer in the TV ratings because neither of the larger market teams will be playing, but this one is so much more fun. Like ugly people who have to develop character in order to be found tolerable, small market teams have to develop unique identities to find a way to win like the Rangers and Giants have done so far this year. The teams are actually fun to watch and easy to root for — something that is rare in baseball.
Granted, there is no “David vs. Goliath” aspect to this series as both teams are Davids. However, these rosters are full of great stories and hilarious stories and a still running story of possible all-time great playoff pitching dominance with Cliff Lee. He alone is worth watching .Even the people in the Yankees organization are excited about it, ready to utilize an opportunity to scout their number 2 starter next year.
And the Rangers are looking for their first ever World Series win while the Giants are looking for their first title since they moved to San Francisco.
On another note, I love how the college football’s number ones keep falling and Boise State still can’t crack the top two in the BCS. Haha, Broncos! Play somebody.
3. Brett Favre
When I first laid down what can only loosely be referred to as an outline for this column last night, it was before the end of the Sunday night game between the Packers and Vikings. And so I listed Brett Favre because of his stupid denial of sending shots of his dong to Jenn Sterger. Now he admitted to the voicemails but denied the photos. Not surprising. He must be dumb enough to assume nobody could get the evidence to trace that dick to him. Deadspin points out, though, the messages and photos came from the same phone number.
Yeah, it’s easy for people to dismiss a claim by Deadspin but don’t think Jenn Sterger does not still have the photos which, as anyone with a cell phone can verify, will show the number from whence they were sent. Maybe Favre’s explanation will be suitable for Goodell and his NFL cronies but if Sterger is serious about getting her money, her lawyers will have no trouble proving to the proper authorities that Favre sent that shit. Better get your hush money ready, Old Balls.
And then there was Favre’s limp. I can’t tell you how many people were blowing up Twitter enjoying Favre’s selective limp. The guy just loves to show how he’s gutting out the pain that would crush a lesser quarterback. Man, can you imagine how mistake-free he would be if he were healthy? Oh, you guys didn’t know? Yeah, his ankle hurts. That’s why he threw those three picks. You know what? Here’s an ultimate hate-filled rant I think we can all appreciate. It’s pretty epic. A Vikings fan responding emotionally to last night’s effort.
2. Terrelle Pryor
Terrelle Pryor can suck it and here’s why.
So the Badgers weren’t better than you, eh? Well, I’m sure you’re probably right about that so I should just take your word for it, but just in case if you’ll just allow me to check the scoreboard… 31-18! What?
Oh that’s right. The nation’s most overhyped quarterback is also now the king of sour grapes. Guess what, Terrelle? Your name doesn’t need a third ‘e’ and the Badgers played better than your team a week ago. So if a team plays better than you, then I’d argue that they were better than you. Outside of playing, what else is a team supposed to do? Maybe the Buckeyes are better dancers or better tippers.
Have fun being a back-up tight end in the NFL, buddy.
1. Ray Rice and others like him
No, not Rutgers alumni. I mean all backs who were supposed to be featured backs who haven’t done shit. I’m in a league that allows you to keep one player each season and Rice was my keeper. He scored 4 fucking points this week.
It’s now at the point in the season where you cannot say, “It’s early yet, this situation will right itself.” It won’t. The few touchdowns the Ravens get on the ground they give to McGahee. Their passing touchdowns go to Boldin. Rice scored more than 10 points only once and that was in Week 6 and I thought he might have caught his stride. Nope. Right back to what apparently passes as a typical week for him.
Fuck you McGahee.
And guess what. Thomas Jones will continue to fuck over Jamaal Charles. And Ryan Mathews was officially over-hyped in the preseason.
God, I hate fantasy football.