Tim Tebow attempts reenacting Christ and rises on the 3rd day

Adam on 10 1, 2009

When Tim Tebow got crushed Saturday night against Kentucky, I felt the earth move. The energy of human existence shifted. I could feel a rush of positive energy fill the room around me, and I knew something cosmically significant had occurred.

What happened on that play was magic. It was a moment of pure catharsis for those that don’t have it all like Timmy T does. In the history of sports there may be no player that pushes my nausea button quite like Tebow does. No player in the world of sports today is so clearly self infatuated as Tebow.

People don’t want to see the golden child, we want to see controversy. We want reality and humanity, not divinity. I assure you, Tebow enjoys his persona as the second coming of Christ. He enjoys the press conferences where every reporter in the room grapples for a chance to ask him a suck up question.

Maybe your grandma likes Tebow because he seems like such a nice young man. But you and me, we know better than that. He’s a self loving, look at me, jerk athlete. He’s no different than Ochocinco, or T.O., he’s just much better at attracting positive attention. He’s a good Christian boy with a white face, so he can’t possibly be in the same category with these other guys, right?

Tim Tebow

Consider the rally in the swamp at the end of last season when Tebow dramatically told the fans that he would be returning for his senior season (as if there was any doubt, you’re not getting drafted high Tim). Or the ridiculous scene of him ripping the sling off of his injured shoulder at a Florida basketball game last year.

Was it a coincidence that he just happened to be in venues of 20-80 thousand people with national network cameras focused on him when these seemingly spontaneous moments of gator pride occurred? Of course not. If that’s a cynical way of looking at the world then I’m a cynic, but I’m not stupid.

The point is that people don’t like Tebow because he attempts to build his legend off the field, with moments of pure self aggrandizement. Isn’t it enough that he is considered by many the best college football player of all time? Not for him, and that’s why we can’t stand him.

He has everything he could ever expect, and yet he asks for more. He has all the attention of the college sports world focused directly on him, yet when the focus strays he’ll be sure to manifest some ludicrous non-event to get everybody suckling at the Tebow tit again.

When Tebow was knocked silly the other night it wasn’t that I wanted him to be hurt, I simply wanted him to have a moment on television that he couldn’t control. You can’t manage your image with a concussion, and you can’t be superman on the sidelines.

In short, Tim, cut the crap, because you are about as perfect as O.J. is innocent.